


To Listen

by DaKittyIsLazy



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: And yes people, Angry!Kili, Balin writes using his mouth, Bilbo and Throin's child is a dwobbit, But now it's sort of fluff, Dwarrows can't, Except for Kili he's pretty good at it, Hobbit's can listen, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Nori claps Ori's shoulder and Dwalin gets jelous, One-Shot, Ori gets mad at Dori for flirting, Patient!Bilbo, Silly gullible dwarrows, This was supposed to be crack..., Thorin can listen...finally, Walking is a skill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 20:32:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/777702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaKittyIsLazy/pseuds/DaKittyIsLazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apparently, Dwarf mothers never teach their young how to listen properly. Cue Bilbo giving all the dwarrows lessons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Listen

Hobbits were known to the world as gentle creatures. They gardened and talked with their neighbors peacefully, instead of engaging in war. This, Gandalf decided, was what made them so incredible. Hobbits, were knocked down often, but once knocked down they would stand right back and keep walking instead of fighting. Not many people acknowledged the Hobbit way of life, especially dwarrows. They thought it weak, dishonorable. But the dwarrows were wrong. Hobbits just took the high path in life, they practiced simple things, leaving the war and feuds to those bigger than them. 

When a hobbit set out to learn a skill though, they mastered it. There was no stopping halfway, and no turning back. That was why when the younger dwarrows, and even some of the older ones, got getting bored with walking, Gandalf chuckled. Bilbo had been silent for a while now, and the wizard knew, (as a friend of the family) that walking was the first skill Belladonna had taught Bilbo. 

“How exactly to you do this Mister Boggins?” Kili and Fili had sidled up to Bilbo, walking on either side of the hobbit. Bilbo turned and grinned at him.

“What walk in a straight line? Oh poor Kili, do you need help with your footwork?” Fili let out an ill concealed laugh now before Bilbo turned to him with a raised eyebrow and a small smile. “And you Fili, did you need help with your posture? I can't help but notice that you're turning into quite the hunchback.” Now it was Kili's turn to laugh while Fili straightened up immediately. 

“I stand just fine thank you.” Fili thrust his chin up in the air and looked away, hiding the small grin on his face.

Kili was grinning openly, showing teeth that were very, _very_ clean. “Actually, what we were getting at was,” He shared a mischievous glance with his brother over Bilbo's head. “how do you walk around all day with a spider on your back and not notice?” Bilbo glared openly, he knew Bifur and Dori were walking somewhere behind him, and Bifur hated spiders. He surely would have alerted Bilbo if there really was a spider, probably by trying to hit it with his spear, but still. “Kidding, kidding. We were wondering how you walked around all day and never say anything but still don't get bored?”

Bilbo glanced at Gandalf and saw the wizards smile. When he looked back at the boys he saw that they had attracted a small audience. Bofur and Ori were now walking next to Fili and Kili, all four looking at him expectantly. 

“Well, how do ye do it lad?” Bofur was clearly getting impatient, if the way he was jumping slightly with each step was anything to go by.

“The trick,” Bilbo was whispering now, leaning in as if he was telling them some great secret. “is to listen.” He nodded though chewing on his pipe wisely as the four dwarrows pulled away aghast.

“ _Listen?_ You think the boredom will go away if I _listen?_ ” This was Ori. Funny, Gandalf had thought that Ori would be the most receptive to the idea, but instead it was Kili. Kili had tilted his head to the side in consideration, giving it actual thought. 

“Yes. Give it a shot m'boy.” Bilbo smiled kindly motioning for them all to face forward as he continued walking forward silently. 

After a moment Fili spoke up. “I don't hear anything other than Dori talking to Bifur about teas.”

“Listen close.” Bilbo was shaking his head slightly.

“Is Dori.....flirting?” Ori had asked the question, fuming now at the thought that his brother would openly flirt Bifur, while he was not allowed to so much as talk to Dwalin.

“Ah good, you can tell.” At Bofur, Fili, and Kili's confused faces Bilbo explained. “If you listen to how a person's tone changes as they talk, you can pick up moods, and deeper meanings.” 

“I still can't hear anything.” Fili was really struggling with this it seemed.

“Sure ye can lad, listen to the wind whistlin' through the trees, listen to yer Uncle yell at everyone else, listen to yerself complain. It's easy lad.” Bilbo and Kili were laughing lightly at Bofur's comment, Fili was pouting though.

“Try cupping your hands over your ears.” Bilbo demonstrated, and all four of the boys tried it, trying to see if it made it any easier.

“I still can-”

“For Mahal's sake Fili! Shut the hell up!!!” Kili had evidently had enough of Fili. “It might work if you fucking listened instead of complaining!” This outburst had attracted the majority of the company.

Dori was the first to speak up. “What are you boys doing?” 

“Well, you've been a little to busy flirting with Bifur to realize huh?” Ori was really angry for once and Dori didn't know what to say, spluttering and blushing profusely while Nori laughed.

“Well said Ori! You're my little brother all right!” Nori clapped Ori on the shoulder as the rest of the company listened closer. Except for Thorin, who was explaining in depth to Gandalf about just why elves were considered filthy tree-shaggers and not to be trusted for what must be the hundredth time. 

“Now, as Dori was saying, just what are all you boys doing.” Balin was smiling gently behind his beard as his brother glared at Nori, reaching out a suspiciously new glove covered paw to tug Ori a little closer to him and away from his brother. 

“Ohh, Bilbo's teaching us how to listen. Makes the boring feelings go away ye know.” Now Bilbo had the 12 dwarrows complete attention. “Well, show em lad. Valar knows they could use it.” Bofur was grinning, flapping his hands next to his ears to demonstrate.

“Just put your hands next to your ears and bend them slightly like your holding something. Then just...listen.” Bilbo was having trouble finishing his sentence as 12 dwarrows followed his instructions to the letter. 

“I...I hear something!” Everyone in hearing distance face-palmed. Only Fili could pull something like that.

“Yes, you big idiot. And you would have been hearing things from the beginning had you not decided to talk instead.” Kili watched as Fili absorbed his words. At Fili's dumbstruck face, Kili rolled his eyes and waggled his fingers, silently telling Fili to stop being an idiot and start listening.

That was how the rest of the day passed. 12 Dwarrows walking around with their hands cupped over their ears as one hobbit in the middle smiling. 

At the end of the day, when the camp was all set up, Thorin walked over to Bilbo. “Halfling, what have you done to my dwarrows?” Bilbo took a look around and chuckled. All of them still their hands over their ears, but now Gandalf had joined in too. Just to bug Thorin. “Honestly. Fili and Kili almost started crying when I reminded them that in order to hunt they would need to use their weapons, which required using their hands. Then Bofur, instead of using his arms to pick up the firewood, he used his feet! Don't even get me started on Balin, he wrote his book today using his mouth to hold his quill, and only messed up twice! Dwalin did footwork exercises rather than spar with me. What have you done?!” Bilbo blew a smoke ring before putting the pipe, that he had had out all day, away. _'Shame,'_ Bilbo thought. _'The next smoke ring was going to be perfect I just know it.'_ Putting his ire behind him, Bilbo patted the space on the log beside him.

“Well, sit down.” Thorin grumbled, but he did so, pushing his cape majestically out of the way. 

“What is it?”

“You see, the key is to _listen_ ” Bilbo grinned at Thorin's face, it was so like Fili's earlier he justcouldn't help it.

“ _Listen?_ ”

“Listen.” Bilbo nodded sagely.

“You want me to listen?”

“But of course, takes the time away and makes the soul wiser you know.”

“But I don't hear anything.” This time Bilbo let out his laugh. At Thorin's glare though he grinned and motioned to the other dwarrows hands. Thorin uncertainly put his hands to his ears and cupped them. His eyes flew open in shock. “Is that.. a river?” Bilbo nodded again as Thorin announced to the group that they could bathe tonight. The announcement was met with cheers all around and Bilbo grinned grandly before walking off to grab his soap.

If the next few days the company was walking around with their hands around their ears, no one said a word. Lord Elrond just nodded at Bilbo a knowing look in his eyes. Beorn laughed grandly once the dwarrows had all gone to sleep. And Bard of Laketown grinned and rolled his eyes once he was alone with Bilbo. After Bilbo explained his reasons for stealing the Arkenstone, Thorin listened, and as did the rest of the compnay. Thorin thanked him for saving them from the death Throin had all but sold their souls to.

“All because I didn't listen.”

.............. _  
........._ (`-`) _  
......./` '.\ /.' `\  
......``'-.,=,.-'``  
......... .'//v\\\'.  
........(_/\ " /\\_)  
..............'-' 

Many years later in the reclaimed city of Erebor. A grown dwarf knelt down to his daughter's level and grinned conspiratorially.

“You see the key, my dear Belladonna, is to _listen_.”

“Listen?”

“Yes, it makes the time soar away, the soul wiser and the mind more open.” At the edge of the hallway a middle aged hobbit grinned as his husband advised their daughter on how to listen properly. Just as he himself had taught him so many years ago.

“Uncle Bilbo!” Bilbo turned to see Kili flying down the hallways. “I heard a baby owl today while I was hunting! Look, look isn't she adorable? Her mother was dead, I think a mountain lion got her...” Kili frowned sadly, but in his hands was an adorable baby owl. It was indeed quite the endearing sight.

“Cousin Kili!” Belladonna ran over to her cousin, jumping. Trying to see the owl in his hands. When Kili refused to lower himself to her height, she cupped her hands around her ears and listened. After a moment she spun around with joy. “I heard it, I heard it Dada! Papa did you see?1” Bilbo and Thorin smiled at each other before grinning at their daughter and nephew.

“See, what did Daddy say, the key is to listen.” Bilbo turned to hug his husband as he said this, but not before scooping up their daughter and tugging their youngest nephew into the group hug. “As long as you listen, everything will turn out alright.”


End file.
